Monday, September 24, 2007

My book

"You know, it seems to me that someone that writes as well as you do should look in to doing it in a more formal way. I just want to come to the first book signing so that I can tell everyone that I told you to 'go girl.'" -- a dear friend in a recent email.

"You should write a book." I have heard that often enough, and sometimes it comes from people whose sanity I have observed and whose judgment I trust and admire. It's flattering, and I hope that if I ever *do* write a book, it turns out they were right and what I produce was worth putting in print.

I've occasionally taken the suggestion seriously enough to spend some of those decidedly self-indulgent, randomly reflective moments before sleep wondering if there is "a book in me."

There may be. I'm simply not sure. I have yet to find it there folded behind a memory or misfiled with a favorite self-doubt... at least not labeled in a way I can recognize. I suppose I shall have to keep looking.

By now I have done quite a lot of writing. My blogs are really only one example, since I write for work and sometimes write for pleasure in other less public places. I've also read several books on "the craft" and have taken some of the wisdom I have gleaned quite seriously. Among the bits of advice I chose to take seriously: write. write often. Hence the writing on and on and on, even when I have nothing to say that is worth reading. For a writer, there's merit to writing -- just writing. At least that is what they say.

Still, even writing that I am a "writer" feels presumptuous. Yes, I have been published. Yes, I get paid to write. Yes, I edit the writing of "real" writers. Yes, I have people come to me for advice who want to become writers. No, I can't wrap my head around the declarative sentence, "I am a writer."

No matter. I write anyway. And I continue riffling halfheartedly through my brain in search of the book that some believe is in there somewhere. And I write some more.

Here is where, for the present, I'll store some of the other things I encounter in the search for my book. Here is where I will place the gibberish that comes to mind and hand. I make no rules. I place no limitations.

I invite you to read if you like, but please know that I am really writing for me, and if you happen to find my scribblings worth reading, it's a marvelous accident. Who knows, perhaps, someday, one of those marvelous accidents will transform into a page in my book.

2 comments:

L.L. Barkat said...

Honestly, I'm not completely sure where a book comes from. Maybe we just finally get ready to write and we do it. I didn't have any plans to write a book. It just sort of happened. I like V.H. Wright's thoughts about the writing life. She feels that projects find us in their own time, just when our soul needs them. Maybe that is when you will write your book. When you need to.

Nikki said...

Yes, perhaps you are right. I don't feel I need to write one now. Frankly, I have a hunch: once I have children (should God bless us that way) I will suddenly have the all the desire in the world, plenty of inspiration, and not nearly enough time to do anything with the book-yearning. :D